I have been diagnosed with SDS
Seriously. I need to stay off the internet.
There is just way too much information out there. As I am still recovering from a mastectomy and mentally preparing for DIEP flap breast reconstruction, my mind starts to wander and before I know it I am reading about someone’s failed breast reconstruction.
Why do I do this to myself!!?!
All information isn’t good information. Sure I want to be educated enough to have an intelligent discussion with Dr. Shuck, but I also don’t want to be petrified with all of the potential side effects.
And it’s not just breast surgery that has me on the internet wit a dozen windows open. The other day, I found myself drafting an email to my oncologist. I was coming down with a case of SDS (self-diagnosis syndrome). I’d been having muscle pain for a few weeks and based on my SDS, I swore I had rheumatoid arthritis. Dr. Shahin .. bless his heart, he’s so patient with me. He listened to me (very important .. if your doctor doesn’t do this, RUN) and then suggested that we start with physical therapy instead. Muscle pain is a potential side effect of chemotherapy but it could also be caused by sitting on your ass all day without exercise. Just maybe.
And then there’s this issue that I’m having with my nails. Yes, I know that it could take up to a year before my nail returns to “normal” (by the way, I hate that word. What is “normal” anyway? Everybody talks about normal like everyone starts out the same. I’m not looking for normal. Instead I am currently loading Tova 2.0) But I don’t like the way my nail beds looks. I need a dermatologist to diagnose and treat this condition right way. If it’s just time that’s required to heal them, ok that’s fine. But I am not comfortable with blaming everything on chemo. And if it is because of chemo, I am also not comfortable with time being the remedy for all issues. Sure there are certain things that will take time. But I do not want to be in a position where I wait for “time” to heal a specific issue only to discover that I should have alerted them earlier.
So until Tova 2.0 is fully loaded, I’m thankful for doctors that don’t ignore my concerns. Because between recovering, reading, and writing, there is still plenty of time for WebMD. 😉
❤️ T
